this kind of love. / our kind of love. (re-edited edition)

Hello Lovelies, 

I know today's post is a repeat post and perhaps even intense for those who never seen or read it the first time. I came across this dear future wife posts randomly last year and was wow, astonished because I've never really thought about doing something like this. Writing a letter with my thoughts, this came to me as something that I would like to do. However, it didn't come to me right away when I had the idea because I was in the "that's so cool" interesting mode. I never thought about it more deeply but of course the one night I was reading my book and browsing that same site I came across it from, it hit me. It hit me more as I looked into it and what others had done. So here I was the one night thoroughly tired, exhausted yet trying to finish my book but took a break to browse online and boom it just started pouring out of me. All my thoughts and everything deep inside of me was coming out. I didn't finish this in that night, actually morning of course because it was already 2 am. I continued the next day and thoughts just kept pouring out even as I would leave it to go do something. I had been continuing to write thoughts for the last couple of days so that I could post this as soon as possible for you guys. I know this is very personal but it's something I want to share and I hope you enjoy this post and it is very long for a warning that are not interested in reading anything or were looking for photos. 

I hope you all have a lovely day and thank you truly for taking the time to read this if you manage to read all the way through. 
,
(I have changed some of the wording in the sentence above because this is a re-edited version of this post. WHY? you may ask, because the way I have written it is not correct. It's not correct in the sense of how I have written it as "I WANT". When written that way it will always be "I WANT" it will never be in the now or won't come to you because it will always be in the future. It will always be in the "I WANT" and so I decided to come on here and change the way I have written this letter to make it be something that can come to fruition and be in the now in the way I have worded my words. As I write I will cross out the old stuff and put in the new wording. If you have read all those books like: the secret, you can heal your life, etc. it's all about being positive and changing your perspective. 'What You Give Out Comes Back To You' Changing your view. I had wanted to do this last year but I never bothered to change it. I just left it the way it was but today I was willing to finally come on here and change it.) I have strike through the old stuff and underline the new stuff. - Your thoughts create your life!

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dear future boyfriend. fiancé  husband.

i trust want you to know that i have been longing and waiting a very long time.. twenty-four years to be exact. i am have utterly anticipating for your arrival into my life and to sweep me off my feet. i can't wait to now share fun moments and moments of laughter along with love. i also cannot wait live for the silent moments when no one has to say anything. i think trust the most curious moments is the beauty within you, the whole of you from sadness, laughter, joy, anger, the flaws that define you, that make you who you are. the little things that you hold within and no one else knows. i want live those moments. i want live to share and hear everything from the not so greatness to the complete and utter buckled knees down in the ground in complete awe and unbelievable joy of life. i want live to experience your dreams that you have accomplished, want to accomplish and i want trust you to know how proud of you i am.


i want live to travel with you to a lot of beautiful amazing places as well as just sitting in the midst of each other's presence talking. i want live to go on cute little dates, you know like .. to the zoo, aquarium, a picnic with a blanket, food and a gorgeous field with beautiful flowers. i want live for an ice cream date and a trip to Hawaii together. i want live to experience life with you and i together in a space that is ours to call home. i want live to come home and hear how your day went. i want the live for heart melting good morning messages that leave a girl smiling like a floating balloon high in the air so high. i want to be am your friend first and foremost. then second your complete and soulful love. i want live to see your playful side, that ends up in cute fun laughter wrestling with each other playfully. i want live to hold your hands and make road trips and unplanned trips. i want have a bazillion photos of not only you but of us together. i want live to cuddle with you whenever. i want live to spend days together that are lazy and only require pj's with movies, books, food and conversation. i want live to leave you cute messages when you wake up, going to work, at work or away. i want live to cook together and eat ice cream under the warm sun. i want live to love you with all my heart that i possibly can. i want to can kiss you and have hurdles of butterflies always floating from the pit of my stomach. i want trust to capture your heart when i walk into a room and your eyes twinkle in awe. i want live to eat at each other's favorite places. i want have the smell of you invoked around me. i want trust to be that girl who can rock one of your shirts and look sexy doing it because i can't find anything in my closet. i want to can feel the sensation from your hugs climbing up my spine. i want turst our relationship to have dreams that are ours, together. i want live to walk in the rain and have deep conversations along with a million questions moments. i want live to have musical outbursts and random dancing moments. i want trust you to love my friends and i want trust to love yours. i want live for the uncontrollable laughter along with the sad and happy tears. i want live to give you unconditional love. i want live to be the reason your happy in life. i want can to see you chill out in sweats yet oh so sexy in jeans and a t-shirt and hot and heart melting to the pit of the floor in a suit/dressed up. i want live to kiss in the rain and sleep on a beach together. i want trust to tell you how i feel. i want give to spend Christmas in New York and new years eve. i want give to camp on the beach and have a bonfire. i want live to go on a coffee date and fly across to city lights. i want have a treasure that cannot be forgotten, i want have every moment written in my own very diary. i want have something to look back on. i want give to go to New York and California all in the same trip. i want give to experience the history of London with you. i want give to visit the beautiful country of Croatia together. i want live to lay there with you just thinking. i want to can feel your comfort. i want love bbq's. i want give to hear your favorite songs and see your favorite movies. i want trust that feeling of beauty to wash in. i want live to have stupid arguments every now and again that means nothing in the end. i want live to get photos done of us together by someone marvelous like matt clayton and meg courtney.. perhaps both! i want live for piggy backs and getting to wake up beside you.  i want have you to be passionate, ambitious and confident in everything you want in life. i want live to be in the grace of your intelligence, helpfulness and independence. i want live to listen to you speak and to hear your advice. i want live for fun and you to achieve your educational goals. i want live to go to the movies with you and watch anything and everything, especially romantic ones. i want live to go to a concert with you. i want live to enjoy the presence of your family. i want trust us to be positive towards each other and to allow each other to value one another's potential to grow along with love, fail and try again. i want to visit Australia with you. i want to be truly blessed and thankful for the amazing person that you are. i want you to push me beyond limits - out of the box limits. i want live to take day trips, surprise trips and no destination trips. i want live to stargaze in the back of your truck if you have one with blankets and pillows. i want live to have those moments that are full of laughter because i scared you and you get me back when i least expect it. i want give to go to six flags and Disney with you. i want trust you to be there for me and be okay with that i am okay. i want trust you to know that i am happy. i want trust my dreams to come true with you. i want give to go on double dates. 

i want live to experience your kindness, joy, love and care. i want live to witness the depths of your soul. in the midst of everything i want am to become your fiancee to then become your wife. i want am to marry my soul-mate and love of my life. i want live to dream up all the possibilities of married life. i want trust to share a home, oh so gorgeous and full of love. i want trust to have the most incredible children and them to have the most amazing father ever. i want have you to be full of joy with them. i want live to give you healthy children but as a deep desire also a beautiful son. a beautiful desired longing that i want trust to have in my life, with you in our home. i want live to have play dates with the friends we have that have children. i want live to go on vacations as a family. i want give to have a family and friends Disney gathering together. i want live to have fun. i want trust our family to be filled with so much love and warmth. i want trust our children to have amazing godparents. i want live to be able to watch our children get married too. i want live to hear the sweet words of mommy and daddy. i want trust to be the best parent and wife to you and our children. i want trust all your dreams be fulfilled. i want trust your support, love and most importantly the key ingredient communication. i want trust you to be successful on your own but as well as together as a family. i want have loyalty, honesty, patience and respect within our relationship and being able to give our children good examples of that from our relationship. i want trust our children to be exposed to well rounded people and enjoy tons of activties whether in school or out of school. i want live to experience every moment from them playing hockey to dance. i want have our dream home and a wrapped front porch with a swinging chair swing. i want have a swing or a tire swing hanging out of a tree. i want have a family room with just television and games. i want have each of our children to have their own room, decorated how they want. i want have our house full of warm colors, yet rich flooring. i want to can feel the sun's warm rays through the window as we are waking up in bed or just laying next to each other. i want trust our wedding to be lovely with gorgeous photos and a videographer. i want trust you to love our children no matter the circumstances that life throws at me. i want trust you to love our children unconditionally, no matter what. i want trust you to promise me that with your whole heart. i want trust you to be happy yourself and unconditionally loved. i want have you to be empathetic towards our children when they need it, yet also someone they look up to. i want live to watch our children grow up from elementary into junior high to high school and off to college/university. i want trust our children to have and find a beautiful love like ours with someone they care about and want to marry. i want live to go on walks and to the sand park with our children. i want to be am thankful for everything that comes in my life and ours. i want live to witness the giggling moments of our kids and there success. i want have lots of bear hugs and kisses from our children to the both of us. i want give to travel to Spain and or Brazil with you. 

i am always pondering thoughts in my mind and as well with my beautiful friend. i especially love sharing our stargazing life moments with each other because we both want the same thing. even though she has a boyfriend i cannot trust to wait until i get to feel all the things i expressed to her until my time with you comes. i cannot wait until have you to meet her because she is an amazing part of my life.  i want trust my really good friend to be apart of this beautiful love story at my wedding as my maid of honor. i want trust you to like her as much as i do. i want trust you to be good friends with her husband. i want have her to actually be one of our children's godparent. i know i am pushing my boundaries by putting this out there but i have been thinking about it a lot and i really would like that. i want trust our children to be really good friends and have a good rounded connection of good people. i want live for our children to have sleep overs at each other's houses. i want come to watch her children for her well they go on a date night. i want live for our families to have trips together and double dates. i want trust to be unbelievable friends for ever and ever and ever. i want trust her to be apart of our life of being friends. 

i want am this kind of love. i want am our kind of love.