Monday, May 13, 2013

To My Dearest Best Friends,

Day 13
[ Issue a public apology. This can be as funny or as serious or as creative as you want it to be.]

To My Dearest Best Friends (Amanda, Joyce & Cristina),

These are not my best friends, this is only a photo found via here.

I know out of every one and everything you three are the ones who always, always have my back as well as listen to all my craziness. I am oh so very grateful for that along with you always listening and taking the time to hang out with me. I am so appreciative of you wanting so much good for me, to be happy, to succeed and be proud of me. I am so truly grateful that you believe in me with all my heart and give the best possibly advice ever to me that is worthy and precious. I thank you for pushing me, supporting me and just all around being there unconditionally no matter what. Thank you for always knowing that I deserve the best and are amazed with me as a person. I know some of the things I go through may seem unfair but you are there to listen. 

However ... 

I would like to issue you three a BIG apology which has been ticking at my mind lately. Obviously, in my opinion if it is ticking at my mind then it must mean something right?! It must be a little whisper starting out trying to tell me something to notice and pick up on what the whisper is saying. With having said all this I want to say sorry for talking your ears off most times or ranting about annoying stupid things. (I know you will say that is what friends are for, which I understand but.. I just need to say this even though you three may think otherwise.) I am sorry if I stop and start to say something as you try to start to talk, that I don't mean to do at all, just really bad timing on my part? I am sorry if you hear the same thing, story or issue. Sorry if you feel I don't ask enough questions of you, your stories, life etc. I am sorry if you feel I don't pay as much attention as I should to you. (Maybe this is all in my head, but I had to get this out.) Sorry that I update you with all the craziness going on in my life and it sounds as though I just don't shut up or won't because I am not intentionally trying to do that. (I honestly think after oh I should probably shut up or maybe you guys don't feel as though I ask you a lot of questions about you, your life etc.) If that is not the case then it's all in my head but I really don't think so.. I feel like I owe you three BIG TIME, because you are there so much for me. I truly, honestly have no no, no, idea what in the world I would do without you three, because you three have proven to be consistent, reliable, a true friend, my best friends, the people I count on and know that no matter what happens we will be in contact in any form possible to be in contact. (I know you three may say it's fine and that we are equal, that our friendship is balanced out but sometimes I just think and I am like.. I feel like I could have not talked so much or whatever.) I also know you want to hear plus know.. but then there is also so much you know.. that one can handle or hear and I don't want to make you feel unappreciated, or overwhelmed ever. If you do ever feel that, please, please let me know. Another thing that I want to mention is that sorry for not saying I treasure you a lot verbally. I know I do it a lot written form, but I am working on doing it more verbally as well. (I will admit I honestly thought was weeeeeeird before when people would say they loved me, but now I understand and get it.) I don't want to miss a chance of saying all the great things I love about you guys or that you do etc. I want you to know that I love you, appreciate you, thank you, am grateful for you, and undoubtedly don't know what in the world I would do without you three amazing, incredible, super fantastic people in my life. I wanted to issue this apology, because it has been bugging me lately and this seemed the perfect way to issue this. A quick side note: another thing that kind of ties into this is also I feel as though I have so much more to offer and share with you three that you don't know about me. I mean A LOT more things and I would love the chance to share more of my story of me and the person behind me, so that you get a better understanding of me, who I am and why I do the things I do etc. I want you to see every side of me.. the not so great, the great, the happiest, the fricken fantastic, the sad, the melt down, the frustration, the water fall of cries and everything else in between. I want to share my story, my adventure of me more because I feel that I also haven't shared that much with you of me personally the person I am, was and who I am becoming and I want you to know this person on a whole. I am sorry for what you don't know of me, never knew of me of the past and the things you are curious about but unsure to ask about, I want you to ask me because I want to share it with you for I want this friendship to blossom to more amazingness then it already is. If it wasn't for you three I don't know where the heck I would be or where I would be getting advice from (probably some old wacky stuff toy, haha) Seriously from the bottom of my heart sorry and I am trying very hard to work on this and I hope to achieve the incredible potential within our friendship because I recognize and make and effort along with apology when I notice etc. (I know I may say sorry or may have apologized already but I wanted to have it written in words. I am sorry but I do love you very much and are my beautiful, lovely angel sent best friends.

- i am sorry to simply put it all. I am sorry if you feel you have just truly gotten to know me or understand me more in the last two years or so. 

i loooove you, oh so veeery much,

Signed, Joe

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