Saturday, May 18, 2013

a story from grade five.

Day 18
[Tell a story from your childhood. Dig deep and try to be descriptive about what you remember and how you felt.]
This challenge for today can be a lot of stories, because I have a number of stories and different situations. However, I have one story that is very vivid that has stuck out and came to me right now, so I am just going to write that. 

It's me in school, grade five... I want to say it was yeah I am pretty sure it was that year. We were in class given a task to do and complete. Of course this task we were given to do I remember consisted of coloring and so the teacher wasn't teaching. It was down time to work on whatever it is we were given. I remember I was just doing what I had to and we could get out of our desks to roam to someone near us, to share pencil crayons etc. I remember I got told one of the most meanest things in my life but obviously doesn't top the things that I have heard even as I was growing up and older. However, as a young kid you would never in a million years expect to hear something like this, not even in your wildest dreams.. well at least mine anyways. "When you grow up you're going to be a stripper" that stung. What young kid wants to hear that, and on top of that I was dealing already with other problems and now had that thrown in my face. I felt ugly, ashamed, angry, mad, sad, but more so I dwell-ed on it. I know one of the worst things you could do, but i was a kid and that's a kid thing to do. It may not be healthy but I did it. Of course I kept it inside and didn't say anything to anybody until I got older. When people hear the stories, they are shocked even my parents have heard things and it's so left field but it comes up because of a situation. I am over it, so I am able to talk about it now, but I know for everyone else they can't believe it or understand. I can't begin to understand the magnitude of certain things I have heard in my lifetime. I rather get through them and move on. Like most of my stories or things that have happened to me I never told anyone. I internalized it, that was may coping mechanism for everything. It was like that for everything, because I already had a hundred and one other things that I was going through, dealing with or witnessing. I would keep going back to that, I obviously forgot about it or got over it one or the other. I got bigger meaner things said as I was growing up. This is my story and I am not looking for pity or anything it was just something I wanted to share. I know now days bullying is a big deal and when I went to school it wasn't extreme as it is now how people commit suicide and all these things. I made it through it, it wasn't easy that's for sure and I wish I could tell you it were but it wasn't. I am not even going to say that it was easy to overcome all the bullying that I got. It took me a really long time to let go everything I had inside and was angry about. It has been two years that I have been working on me and it's not something that gets fixed overnight. I know we all wish it was but it isn't. The thing is that I know what it was and still is like to be bullied and I wanted to share my story. Also, it is not something that I agree with. I believe children should get to enjoy life, the glorious beautiful precious life that is given on this earth to be. The reason I never told anyone was because I didn't want the situation to get worse if I told and end up bullied more. Now that I am older that is why I try my hardest to not judge people. I am human and will some times, but for the very most of my life I don't. I don't judge people or say mean things even if I think something else or don't agree because it could just make the situation someone is in worse. I think because I am like that people tell me anything, say anything, even things that are so personal they just spill and we are not even talking about it. I know it's because I don't judge people I've been told. I don't see the point of that at all.. why? You can think someone is fine, and all this great amazing-ness which they can be that but at the same time they can being hurting and some people are good at not exposing that. Why should I add onto a situation they are telling me or even more so probably a number of things that I may not even know is going on. I want to inspire people, I want to bring people up so that's what I stick to as best as I can.

If you are bullied and don't know what to do, hold on.. because your life, is worth it. You destiny is worth it. The love of the higher power/God which ever you believe is worth it. Your beauty, your elegance, your strength, and your wisdom is worth it. You are worth this life. You are too, valuable to give into temptation so that others can get their satisfaction. You're a gift put on this earth to achieve greatness and I want you to achieve your fullest, beyond potential of greatness. You matter.  

Signed, Joe

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